shes been gone for a while they say
no one knows where she went that day
we thought she was a day away
from breaking apart once and for all
but i guess she did fall
for a boy she couldnt get to stay
who always wanted to play
so when she said she'll be back
to obey obey another day
i guess she bought a plane ticket
with the money from those bets she made
saying "i bet you a dollar for every word he'll say
he wont mean in another day"
when he just wants to play
and try to make her stay
a dollar came everyday for a year or so
sometimes twice a day if she really got beaten low
until the money was enough to get her out of town
until the boy was distant enough so she could leave without a sound

it made her day
everything he'd say
she didnt ask questions
she just decided to obey
because anything is better than nothing at all
even if he doenst answer when she calls
every move they make
in the sun blocked room
is more that he'll take
and never give back while he ignores her soon
its all a pattern every word he speaks
every move she repeats
its all a routine
he gives her a few words maybe every couple of weeks
saying "i just want to be friends whats so hard to understand"
as she sinks lower to defeat she screams he was always my man
even though she knows the glamour was always low
it was always in between and never ever seen
he led and she followed and at night she would sing
"i dont know what i did but ill do anything for you
its not like i like to play games i just want to be close to you
all the mistakes ive made bring tears as i sit and wait
for you to come back"
and after several weeks of the same old repeat
she sings to the radio her songs named as sweet
"its not that im in love or that i cant face the truth
its just that every time i speak it seems to be another week
until there's nothing left to say until all we do is play
but id do anything your way just for it to last a day"

she tried to scream
"you cant be the same"
even if the other kisses were just part of a game
tears in her eyes she wanted to die
but she did it knowing it meant more lies
the second it started she wanted to call you on the phone
so you could come and take her away for wherever you were present felt like home
she knows your something she has to get over
but you were her only and since she cant recover
you were the only boy she had been with
and thats how she wanted it to remain
but after the darkened night in his room
she could never think the same
she feels like he took over what was once yours
what she always wanted to keep as yours
because you are what fills her mind constantly
your the only one she thinks of ironically the only one she trusts
you mean the world to her and she needs you so fucking bad

its been over a year
and i miss you more everyday your gone
but your getting more pathetic all the same
your a fool so dont give me that title
im not your fool
you tried to trick me but i can be smarter than you
you're silent but waiting but when you return i wont be anywhere close
you say were friends, yeah good friends huh.
someday i hope someone wakes you up
and shows you the world and how you made it be
for people like me
when you stole everything away from them
and made them to be who they never thought they'd be
i hope you know, your killing me, you killed me.
you made my trust weaker and my eyes deeper
you gave me scrapes and bruises and you knew it too.
you never once gave me a breath unless there was something for you
well i gave it all to you, im broken cause of you
and your message machine isnt putting me back together
i hope someday you'll realize what you missed out on
well i guess my target eyes dont show anything you missed out on
cause you sure didnt miss out on everything
every time you pleaded, i got defeated
and you won, now you win, well i wont lose, im wont be lost.
your little game is something i would never wish to achieve in
im not yours but you were always mine, go ahead take your time
when you speak up you'll be pushed out i wont take your apologies
if you even ever give one, move to LA its high-class sex there they say
baby you're my bad side.

its what you do that makes her world turn up side down
and when she turns it around, your nowhere to be found
your poison still in her mouth your touch still on her skin
but your heart, its nowhere,just all upon her is your sin
when she begged to give up you made her scream out her anger and hold you closer
when she needed to run you made her fall back to you again
you wouldnt let her go, no you wouldnt let her go
but your letting her go, you are you are
out the door across this town out of reach of telephone lines
shell be gone soon they say shell be lost
denied these claims well i guess you cant hide any more
baby shes your good side

and even if she was presented with fate with perfect destiny with a boy she would perfectly meet
she couldnt ever kiss him with the passion and emotion she once had
she would never love again
and even if he filled her with song and lovely things and gave her everything that her lover took away
she couldnt ever hold him with as much strength as she once had
she would never love again
because she had been defeated by a lover who always pleaded and she gave in to his secret sin
across the country you would see the smile that he brought to her constantly
across the country you would hear her screaming cries and painful tears
she had dark dark eyes and a beautiful beautiful smile
she had dark dark secrets and dark dark nights
she told dark dark lies and got in dark dark fights
she loved a dark dark boy with a dark dark heart
she had a torn apart beautiful beautiful heart
she used to tell stories of a boy and a girl and how they met and made love and loved and loved and loved
she used to play dress up and run around the streets until she realized that herself is all she wanted to be
she used to paint and sing with her sister and talk endlessly to her friends
she used to think there was nothing she couldn't do and would let anyone not let her stand
she used to smile she used to smile she used to smile she used to smile
and then she found you

she knows your got going to be around like you said you would perfectly be. its written all over her body all her mistakes all her scars all her lies and lose grips all the things that kill her but she wont let go of. she knows modern technology it doenst often fail, its you who fail to give her open ears and open arms. she thinks about you way too much and doenst think that that will ever stop. you make her crazy yeah youve made her crazy but as long as you dont see her torn i guess she put herself back together right. you know she doenst sleep you know the dark circles around her eyes aren't from her makeup especially since it all usually runs off. you feel the cuts you hear her screams you see her yes you see her but she means nothing. you say "its been awhile" yeah a long long while huh. i guess she jumps to conclusions too because she really thought that meant you missed her but really its her body you missed. its been awhile since cheap sex not since perfect smiles. its incredible the way you get what you want from her. all she wants is to be close to you dont you see thats why she does it she wants to hold on to you forever and tell you everything. the whole time you spend together she just keeps thinking about how she doenst want it to end and unfortunately she just waits for the end because she knows how soon it always comes. your a joke and horrible for making her out to be. she feels stupid. she does. she does. she shouldnt. you should. you know you do it but you wont wont wont admit it. shes been breaking for so long no one knows when she'll break for good. its close. she fucking misses you.

and when she shines, she really shows you all she can

i forgot it feels like this. this is what i hated. and those hours spent alone with you were the best i could ask for. and its when they are rare that everything falls apart. if it were up to me id make all my days free and open to be with you. my nights would be lonely with you. my tears would be cried with you. my smiles would be smiled with you. and my laughs would be laughed with you. but this isnt always up to me and when its on your time, there's not much i can do to make you see me and how much i love you. i definitely dont feel good enough. but ive learned not to speak up. so ill be alive on those days you let me. and until them i will just wait and unfortunately have to live fake.

he told her he didnt want it
he said it just couldn't work
well never did she say it but this isnt working too well either
he left a stream of tears down her face and a million cuts on her arms and body
she cant accept that you change your mind so fast
she loved you yes she loved you
but your too caught up to see that
you heard about her sleepless nights you sat there and cried
you told her to get sleep you said sorry and you held her close
well i guess that grip is gone forever now
she loved you, im sorry she loved you
you held her you kissed her you shared things with her
you talked to her you walked with her
you listened to her and just sat
you watched movies with her you spent hours on the phone with her
but no more will that be shown
for you have chosen the road that i hope will lead you to fame
she fell into the trap along the way and cant seem to get out
you could pull her up be honest be a man be what she needs just for a minute
she cant understand what she did, but its what you do
that makes her world turn up side down
and when she turns it around, your nowhere to be found
your poison still in her mouth your touch still on her skin
but your heart, its nowhere,just all upon her is your sin
when she begged to give up you made her scream
when she needed to run you made her come back again
you wouldn't let her go, no you wouldnt let her go
but your letting her go, you are you are
out the door across this town out of reach telephones
shell be gone soon they say shell be lost
denied these claims well i guess you cant hide any more
baby shes your good side

too quick to recount
she was arguing so loud
but he lifted her up
and took her down
shes naive because
when he says he does
shes right and he means
exactly what she hated and screamed
to him to see her breaking messed up body
falling apart because of his demands
she got up the courage to say please no
but he didn't care he wanted it so
he took her and made her until her eyes were close
to breaking and screaming but she wouldn't let it show
and he had things to do for she was just a half hour plan
though she was unaware that she was the target for this silent scam
so she left and she cried and she wanted to die
remembering boys who wanted her heart but she stole it and cried
and gave it to him to tear apart
cutting away all the problems that had left a mark
she needed to know why she wasn't enough
but she hid the scars and tried to act tough

she used to be a dancer and a lover at the least
until she tried and lied and died and cried for many weeks
those weeks turned into lonely months and then a year or so
when her constant thoughts of love pushed her down too constantly low
she was pulled up to abide and thrown her clothes when he left her side
till she drove fast away went in her room or drove drifting away to cry
soon she became too similar to a character on a late night show
getting more beaten up and torn apart by the minute
and never ever letting anyone know

thank you for listening to me and thank you for crying and thank you for taking me to the beach and holding me. thank you for beating someone up for me and thank you for helping me realize the truth in somethings. i need you. here. always.

as she walks in the door knowing her intentions and knowing the meaning of the scars on her arms, knowing the truths, the lies, the fights, she walks in all innocent with a smile painted on her screaming mouth. the words she speaks are no longer her words and the things she means are no longer what she used to mean. her trusting grip and her determind goals have gotten swept up in the rivers of tears flowing down her rougued cheeks. her always-out-to-have-fun attitude has turned into a hiding-herself-in-a-corner, never-knowing-always-guessing, girl who is scared and scarred and drifiting away. her dreams are general scenes of love not to mention her total disbelief in the concept. her longing lips are stained with regret and her always listening ears are shutting peoples fighting-to-save-her arguments out. noone cares so why should she? 
SHE TRIED TO BE WHO YOU WANTED HER TO BE
help me
and it hurts me to look into the mirror at myself and it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else

she turns her head but you keep going...don't you see the tears in her eyes?

and my chest hurts for every time i breathe you in.