and when she shines, she really shows you all she can

i forgot it feels like this. this is what i hated. and those hours spent alone with you were the best i could ask for. and its when they are rare that everything falls apart. if it were up to me id make all my days free and open to be with you. my nights would be lonely with you. my tears would be cried with you. my smiles would be smiled with you. and my laughs would be laughed with you. but this isnt always up to me and when its on your time, there's not much i can do to make you see me and how much i love you. i definitely dont feel good enough. but ive learned not to speak up. so ill be alive on those days you let me. and until them i will just wait and unfortunately have to live fake.