If my feelings could be seen outwardly it would be shaking with my hands in fists. it would be begging and repeating “i dont know!” over and over and over while kneeling on the floor and pulling at my hair. All this is inside. its trying to come out, its hitting every wall of my being. it lives in my throat, it lives in my hands in my stomach. i imagine a person pushing pushing so hard everyday with their fists against my stomach that they eventually break through the skin and blood explodes out, that’s it. Blood. all the feelings are still there. I dont want to do anything. at all. i feel like my jaw is going to start locking and i will start visibly shaking because there is so much anger and frustration boiling up. every single thing around me pisses me the fuck off.