what am i supposed to do with all this pain.. i want to lock it away so it no longer haunts me, 
but even if its not right before my eyes, its ghost is all around me.
And if i were to lock it up, what will be left?..ive become all my pain,
maybe i would just be empty. joy doesn’t come from lack of pain, but there is too much of it i cant define joy.
All i really want is to be able to breathe without fire in my lungs. I want to know how i am supposed to live with this damage when the damage is already done. I am irrevocably disfigured by my past, so how can i heal?
forgiveness is shallow, i forgive for you, and i still suffer. why should i have to keep burying my pain just to spare the feelings of the one who hurt me

WHY CANT I LET GO