in the two days it took you to lose me, i finally woke up knowing it was not my fault. In the two days it took you to lose me, my silence brought out your truth. you apologized and spoke of your faults. you made promises to change them. but in the two days it took you to lose me, you dont even see that im already lost. i decided not to hold on to your promises. because all the i love you’s in the world cant take back the last 9 months of uncertainty you pushed against me. in the time it took you to say you wanted to change, the more i realized you probably never will. and though i missed you and i wished you were close, i felt it in my bones that you were never on your way.  i found myself tossing and turning at the realization that you are no where. And in the last two days it took you to lose me, i realized i never had you at all.