I decided to start wearing less obsessive makeup, just darker lines around my eyes and more rouged lips. I started wearing more rings letting go of my obsessive superstition that some of them hold curses. I started to wear outrageous colors of nail polish like metallic silver. Because I realized bad things happen. Despite how perfect my make up or hair is. Despite my nail color or my cursed rings. I decided to be nice to my ex who I've spent the last four months hating. Because a part of me hated him more since I thought I had found someone who loved me and treated me right, even if it was just as a friend. But yesterday I decided to be nice to him because bad people are everywhere. It wasnt just him. And now I'm choosing to excuse him on the basis that all guys are ass holes. Its almost like a disease of our generation and he really couldn’t help it. No one ever taught him. Just like no one ever taught me what love should feel like and that it shouldn't hurt.
Its awful, how powerful someones love can be, but how even more powerful hearing someones lack of love can be. We fool ourselves into thinking there is a gray area of some sort but the truth is, this part of life is pretty black and white.