so progress report: I am missing you to death

this is when i admit i miss you. and even worse when i admit i need you. i miss the first looks you gave me and the little pushes and shoves and the fighting we did and the text messages. and all the firsts and all the crazy nights. and all the worries and the lies and the staying up every night crying. the cutting the screaming the black circles from lack of sleep. i miss it all. i don't know if that makes me crazy but i cant control it. i miss it all. i urge to cut i urge to scream i want you i miss you i think about you constantly. these mornings we spend together are amazing and these nights are just as good. but i still miss you. i found a new someone to miss. i found him and it was complicated from the start. secret first kisses secret meetings secret text messages secret everything and it was amazing. or still is. but hes in love with a past just like im in love with you and will always be. no matter what i do i will always love you . ive been able to rise above and move on in a way where i can be happy with a new boy. i don't ever stop thinking about you or stop missing you but i can still be happy without you.