Honestly, ive realized lately im just doing all this until the day i crack.
ive always thought it would come. and in a way i can feel it coming now.
im putting on this show, this face, this life until the day i just cant handle the pain of pretending anymore. soon a day will come when i cant hold it in anymore. when all the pain and when all the rage needs to come out. and it will. and i will run wild and free and be broke and alone and scared.
im scared of the day it happens because it will and i dont know what ill do. its like i wake up in this life everyday wondering if its the day ill put all this behind me and start to really live.
when will i stop trying to keep up appearances? when can i let all of this crap off my chest and to who? when can i bleed and make a beautiful mess out of my pai?. when can i break free of this prison ive put myself in...