i don't know what happened or where i went wrong
i don't know why she did this and cant stop
this endless fight that i never fought just goes on and on and on
i just want to be myself and be happy like i used to be
I wonder why i get into situations such as these
I try to be such a good friend to people,
i care about others more than i care about myself
and i guess that is my biggest flaw
becasue the people on the receiving end care about themselves more than others
i let my guard down with people because i want to trust them
and they make me believe that i can, and that we are best friends
but best friends means something different to me than those people
it means that you are always there for that person, through think and thin
through pain and happiness, through isolation and socialization
i feel really lonely
and i know that i am the only one who can make me feel that way
but i don't know how to change it
i feel alone, and i feel sad. i feel angry that people i trusted changed and left
i feel so alone sometimes that i feel like i cant breathe
i feel so silly and unworthy sometimes that i break down
i feel so isolated and left out, i feel like i did senior year
and i don't want to anymore
no matter how many people i meet, or how many new places i go
it follows me
it haunts me
it tortures me constantly
and i hate it
i miss having tons of friends, i miss feeling worth and accepted
why is it that it makes some people feel better to put others down
and why is it that when those evil people are putting me down i cant just shake it off
i want to tell myself "they're wrong! they're wrong!" but, its hard to believe myself